Inclusion Daily Express -- Celebrating Our Diversity: Lessons From Nature

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Celebrating Our Diversity: Lessons From Nature
By Tamar Raine, Special To Inclusion Daily Express

I don't know why, but like the many different kinds of flowers, nature has created many variations in the human being. Some of us are tall, others are short, some are dark, some are light, some have a perfect body, others have to struggle, some have a good mind, while others have a twisted heart.

My disability just magnifies my interdependence on the extended family that I have managed to set up for myself. With the assistance of social service agencies and government funded assistance programs that all ENABLE me to be as INDEPENDENT as I can be, instead of locked up in an institution where I would have no hope of being useful to anybody, and certainly not growing or being creative. I have a few hours of assistance every day--big deal. My mother hired women to clean her house for her, so she could spend time doing other things.

As Americans, we have this mythology about the strong, rugged pioneers who did everything for themselves and their families. The days are long gone when most people grew their own vegetables, milked their own cows, raised their own livestock, made their own clothes, and built their own homes with the help of their neighbors. Now we are all interdependent on other people.

I often wish TV shows would have more people with disabilities in them as part of normal life circumstances. Then when they do have movies portraying people with disabilities, they portray them as super athletes, the ones that get cured, or the ones with chips on their shoulders. Society does not see people with disabilities as whole people. They would rather not look at somebody with a twisted face, or twisted hands.

It was hard for me to accept and love myself as I was when I was a child, when people constantly nagged at me to turn my hands around, when I had to walk in heavy braces, and being made to feel ugly when people made fun of or mimicked my way of speaking. Coming to learn who I truly am was liberating. I learned that the beauty of all human beings is the same in each of us, regardless of what we look like on the outside.

In college, I discovered people with disabilities were not the only ones who did not love and appreciate themselves. Most women feel inadequate physically regardless of physical ability. We must all overcome the strictures that the media throws at us. There we are again, the media. The media perpetuate the idea that stick-thin bodies are the only ones that are beautiful. The media promulgate the idea that the only beautiful bodies are the ones that move with grace and ease.

There is a reason we have variety, perhaps we can't see it, or know it, but there is a higher reason for some to struggle more than others. Could it be that those who struggle more are stronger than those to whom everything comes more easily? In a world where people worship normalcy and beauty, could it be that nature has other plans? We should celebrate diversity instead of dreading it. We can love a twisted body the way we love and admire trees that are gnarly and shaped in unusual ways. Long ago, my father asked me why I didn't write a poem about my Cerebral Palsy and compare it to a gnarly tree or something. I promptly told him that the tree was beautiful and I was not. That was a long time ago, and now I make the comparison proudly. I have claimed my beauty, both inside and out.

It must be hell on parents to see their children struggle with disabilities; I know my own father grieves about mine. Yet, he and other parents of children with disabilities often feel stronger, and even grateful for the experience. It must be so hard to look at your beautiful child and know that many people will not be able to see their beauty, their light. Perhaps God has something else in mind when She allows a child to have a disability. For it is in living and struggling that we grow as human beings, it is in developing compassion for others that we grow spiritually, it is in assisting others to become all they can be, that we receive life’s richest blessing. This applies to both the parents as well as people with disabilities.

Therefore, no, please don't try to mold us to look like, or sound like, or move like, or think like everybody else. If we choose to get therapies to help us move easier, that is our choice. However, I will not take up the cry for “the cure” as I think God has it all planned. She has all this wonderful diversity planned, and disability should be a normal part of life, instead of an aberration. Dry your tears, and see the real beauty in life. Even if you don't believe in God, you can still appreciate all the diversity in nature; you can still grow as a human being. When we all learn to celebrate our diversity and see the beauty in everybody, we will experience great joy.

(Tamar Mag Raine’s email is tamarmag@earthlink.net)

IM: tamarmag48

Oakland Mayor's Commission on People with Disabilities

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